Graveyard Smash

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Graveyard Smash on Steam

MSRP: $2.99

Platforms: Windows

Release: 3/27/16


True confession: the most horrifying thing about Graveyard Smash is how absolutely and completely terrible I was at it.  It sounds simple enough – move with WASD or arrow keys, press X to whack a dead thing, or Z to dig a hole for a dead thing to fall into and get reburied. Don’t let the dead things escape and win. So, about that.

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Of course, there’s no way to tell if the problem is with me or the game.  I went to check the Steam reviews and the discussion forums and well, there’s not really anything there.  For a game that’s been released for more than 6 months, that’s a whole lot of silence.

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You play as Manuel Rodriguez, an overnight groundskeeper at a cemetery, who is just minding his own business when the dead start unburying themselves and wandering off. Keeping them buried is a whole lot harder than it sounds. You can’t actually attack the undead once they’ve risen from their grave – you can only whack them with a shovel to push them back down as they are rising, or dig holes in their path so they will fall in (and I guess make a dirt avalanche as they tumble down).

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If you manage to survive the first night (and I didn’t several times), the men in black show up and tell you very little. But they are offering you cash to do what you’re doing anyway, so what can go wrong? I mean, other than the fact that they don’t know the difference between “carrier” and “career”.

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I’m sure there’s a target market for this somewhere. I couldn’t make it work for me, and was exceptionally irritated that you need a mouse for the menu, but you can’t use it anywhere else.  Graveyard Smash does offer “partial” controller support, which might make it more tolerable, but it just didn’t feel playable enough for me to bother.

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